


“YOU’RE ALIVE”!!!

by orphan_account



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: bored in quarantine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 4,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24237268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: China and Skulduggery are both being targeted by necromancer assassins
Relationships: Ghastly Bespoke/Tanith Low, Skulduggery Pleasant & China Sorrows, Valkyrie Cain/Militsa Gnosis
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	1. Assassins In The Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m still in denial abt half the deaths in the books so here is me making my way around them to have it my way  
> ~All reviews welcomed~  
> This is my first fanfic so any tips would be appreciated  
> Not really sure where I’m going with this but I’ll be updating as often as possible  
> If it’s written in italics it’s what their thinking

As she sat on her throne signing form upon form.She couldn’t help but let her mind wander.It was starting to do that more and more often.As she snapped out of her daydream she saw a figure dart across the room, shadows trailing behind, every wisp clambering over the next in a race to reach its master and stay out of sight.She discreetly touched the sigil just under her left elbow.She felt the air ripple as a bubble formed around her.She liked to think of it as her personal space bubble and no one other than her could pop it.No bullet,no knife,no dagger,no arrow and not even the sharpest blade could part that bubble.That sigil was her own creation and only one other person knew about it.

As she descended from her throne she kept her head pointing forward in a dignified walk . She was China Sorrows after all and it wouldn’t do to look undignified even when escaping from a possible assassin.She hurried her pace just slightly as she felt his presence to her right and saw the slightest flicker of movement in the mirror she was eyeing over her left shoulder , as she picked up her bag from the table beside the door she felt her pulse quicken.

_What if there was another traitor in the sanctuary,that just wouldn’t do.How many traitors have there been in the Irish sanctuary in the past few years?From Sagacious Tome to Tipstaff.This was getting out of hand,she needed new reinforced background and character checking systems.No she was getting sidetracked again,maybe it was just an assassin who managed to sneak in somehow.Yes ,that was it nothing traitorous about it._

* * *

He was leading him on a wild goose chase.Oh , Skulduggery Pleasant did love leasing assassins down random corridors.He took a sharp left turn and then the next right turn.He took out his phone and stood their for a minute waiting for his new friend to catch up with him. He took a walk down an empty corridor and and turned into the men’s toilets.It was a good thing that his new murderous friend didn’t know what room this was or it would have aroused suspicion.Why would the living skeleton need to use a toilet?He ducked under the door after him and Skulduggery heard him grunt as he ducked into the nearest cubicle to the door.He heard no sign of the door being locked but doors where for people with no imagination and Skulduggery Pleasant was full of imagination.He propelled himself over the door dividing the cubicles and landed effortlessly on the other side without a single sound.Causing the assassin to look up in alarm, but he had no time to let the shock register on his face as he got a wave of air knocking his head back and an elbow to the gut at the same time.He doubled over in pain clutching at his head as if it where about to fall off,and that’s when Skulduggery took a step back splintering the cane to little shards of wood all over the pristine floor .The shadows writhed as they recoiled from him and swarmed to meet their master.The man who now lay hunched over on the ground yelped in pain and frustration as the shadows returned to him, but within second his grumbling had died down due to the kick he received on his left temple from the toe of Skulduggery’s right boot.He was out cold.Skulduggery shackled him and lifted the remains of the shattered cane and dropped them in the bin.Dusting his gloves of as he did so.


	2. Where’s A Bodyguard When You Need One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics for thoughts

She had the urge to sprint but she held back, she knew if she sprinted the air bubble would evaporate .She had 3 minutes left until it needed recharged and she was going to use those three minutes wisely.She needed to get somewhere crowded with mages and cleavers.As she passed the repository she took a right turn and collided with Temper Fray.He apologised profusely and continued on his way.She wanted to reach out and ask him to stay with her but she knew she was to proud to do that.As she neared the corridor towards the hospital wing she altered her course of action.She didn’t want to get anyone else injured and there were definitely cleavers down this corridor .She was sure of it.As she took a other turn she felt an arm gripping her shoulder.She didn’t know how she was going to get out of this mess ,where was a bodyguard when you needed one .The hand gripping her shoulder tightened and she tensed for no more than a split second .

Although it took every bit of strength in her body to relax but ,she managed it and said ‘Dexter darling, is that you?’, With as much confidence as she could muster.Knowing full well that it wasn’t ,it was some necromancer assassin. The reply came back with an American accent,A Texan perhaps ‘Sorry, Darlin but I ain’t no Dead Man’.

_Strange,Necromancers normally don’t have strong accents since they never leave their sacred temples, but they aren’t usually trained assassins either.This is a one off thing she reckoned._

‘Sorry ,but I don’t think I recognise your voice ,what’s your name ?’

’Don't concern yourself with that darlin , you’ll be dead in a few minutes anyway’

’Sorry but that’s not happening’,China Sorrows replied disentangling herself from the hand grasping her shoulder.

She started sprinting 

_Sprinting in stilettos she reckoned ,was not an easy feat , but she managed to pull it off and make it look effortless all the while still looking dignified_

She took a right turn and found herself at one end of a corridor.There was a junction at the other end as well as two bathrooms on one side and a large conference room on the other.Her mystery man hadn’t caught up to her yet. As she passed the men’s bathroom strong hands reached out and grabbed her ,one over her mouth and one around her waist.As she readied herself to cry out she heard his faint whisper .


	3. My Obsession

‘Why doesn’t she just punch him!’

’Not everything has to be about punching’

’It doesn’t have to be about punching but it should be’

’But it doesn’t have to be’

’But it should’

’Im not going to argue with you about this’

’We aren’t arguing, we’re having a friendly debate’

’Well I’m not going to debate about this with you’

’Okay’

’Good’

’Butttt........’

’But what?’

’He should’ve got punched’

’For god’s sake Val’

’What,he should’ve got punched’

’You are obsessed with punching people’

’Oi,Why’d you turn it off?’Valkyrie Cain yelped after Militsa Gnosis turned of the cop show.

’Because you weren’t shutting up about him not getting punched’

Valkyrie Cain lay sprawled across the sofa with her head in Militsa’s lap . They had just been watching a cop show that had come on tv after Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets had ended.They were at Grimwood estate, in the cosy living room that housed the deceased Gordon Edgley’s favoured armchair.Valkyrie had replaced all of the old furniture housed in this room with that chair as an exception.She couldn’t bring herself to do it.She had so many memories of him sitting in that chair telling her stories or just talking to her.He hadn’t been the best adult but, he’d been a great uncle to her.

’Val........Val......Are you having a vision?.......Are you there Val?’


	4. Chapter 4

She was getting used to him not being around.She wasn’t happy about it , but she was getting used to it. She still went over everyday to water his plants.Today was no different she slipped the key out from under the plant and jammed it in the lock, she had had a rough day.First she had warded of some infected , Moloch’s infected of course and the she had gotten in a fight with a couple of hollow men , her nose still stung from that now that she thought about it. 

As she slipped in the door and grabbed the jug she felt that wave of sadness hit her like it always did, but today, today’s was stronger than usual, usually it didn’t make her collapse on the sofa, usually she didn’t have an urge to cry, usually this didn’t happen, but usually she was in a good mood.She leaned back and sank into his old sofa,it smelled like him.She missed him.Before the tears could come she sprang up and made her way to the kitchen.She filled the blue jug with water and as she pivoted to go water the plants she spotted it A black box with her name scrawled across the top in familiar writing.She made her way over to it and lifted it testing its weight .She left it on the table and went to water the plants.

When she came back her phone had nine new messages lighting up the screen.She opened the first one and groaned out loud,she opened the second one and continued the moan,at the third one she cursed and as she checked all the missed calls she cursed.If you Tanith Low was in a bad mood before you should see her now.


	5. ‘CHINA’

‘Val,Val,Val are you okay?”

”Militsa??”

”Honey are you ok?”Militsa replied planting a kiss on Valkyrie’s forehead.

”Yeah...,well..I think”

”Was it a vision?”Militsa asked already knowing the awnser.

”Yeah.Fletcher is gonna come teleport us in a second without warning...and I think..”she said scrunching up her face trying to remember.

”Yes”Militsa prompted.

”I...I..I’m pretty sure China is hurt”Valkyrie said slowly.

”Is that why Fletch is going to teleport us?”Militsa asked softly

”Yeah,I think so”

“Okay”Militsa said slowly processing the information “So how bad were the supreme mage’s injuries?”

”There was a stab wound in her back and.....I think she had scorch marks on her shoulder.......her ankle looked badly bruised as well”Valkyrie replied in a shaky voice.

And that’s when Militsa shrieked.


	6. Chapter 6

“Don’t say anything”She heard the voice whisper. For some reason she felt her body relax and sink into him.Her back hurt ,so did her shoulder now that she thought about it.What was that sharp pain in her ankle,it hadn’t been there earlier,had it?

He pulled her in tighter as they heard nearing footsteps, but for some reason she didn’t resist,she didn’t pull away, instead she sank further into him, she could feel his ribs now,her head against his chest.Her vision was clouding and she knew she was loosing blood, her hand found the tear in the back of her dress and she felt the thin stream of blood running down her back. 

The pain was slowly going down and she knew she had to keep fighting it, but she didn’t want to, she just wanted to give in and let the pain leave,but she was still fighting it but her attempts where weakening and she knew it, so did he by the supporting arm around her waist and the other getting ready to catch her if in case she fell.

Black was clouding her vision and she knew she was fighting a losing battle, all she had the power to do was open her eyes for a split second. She wanted to know who her rescuer was, she had an inkling in the back of her mind of who it was but maybe that was what she was hoping and not who it actually was.But her vision was to blurred to make out ,she could just about make out a figure wearing a hat.

And then it all went black


	7. Chapter 7

“Men’s bathroom top floor, now”,was the first thing Fletcher Renn heard when he answered his phone.

”Hello to you too, Skulduggery “Fletcher replied 

“Fletcher, this is no time for jokes, Get Here Now!” The desperation in his voice forced Fletcher to take a step back

”Coming”he mumbled softly in reply

And with that the call ended with a beep


	8. Chapter 8

“What happened?”

Skulduggery heard Fletcher’s shocked voice but, like always decided to ignore it

”My house now”

”But..”,he stammered,”shouldn’t we.....shouldn’t we take her to a doctor?”

”For all we know, there could be assassins and spies all over the place, my house,Now”,Skulduggery responded with an edge to his voice

* * *

”Now go get Dr. Synecdoche“,and with that Fletcher was gone.

”What have they done to you”he murmured so softly she barely caught it, but she did, and in reply she gurgled blood and whispered “There’s a knife in my back”, before falling into darkness.He turned her ever so gently on her side, grasped the handle and extracted the dagger from her wound.He lifted her off the blood drenched sofa and into the bedroom, after placing her gently on the bed he left to get a wet cloth.

When he arrived back Fletcher was there with Reverie.Synecdoche, who was examining China’s ankle, which he was only realising now was badly bruised.He handed her the damp cloth and she took it gratefully.He motioned to Fletcher to follow him out of the room.Once they were out of earshot he said “Go get Valkyrie, she’s with Militsa at Grimwood, you can bring her too”,and with that Fletcher was gone and Skulduggery went to make a phone call.


	9. Chapter 9

The last thing she remembered was Militsa shrieking. Militsa! Was she ok!?Was she hurt!?She was overthinking it again.She knew it.Militsa was fine ,she had to be . Her head. Her head was throbbing. What was that pounding, oh, her head hurt so much. Her eyes flickered open. Her vision was clearing and she could see Militsa hovering over her with a concerned look on her face.

”Wa..what’s going on??”Valkyrie murmured 

”Thank god , you’re awake”, Militsa replied in her deep Scottish accent 

“CHINA!”,Valkyrie mumbled panic rising deep in her chest

”She’s fine, well as fine as she can be”

”What happened Mil?Is she hurt?”,Valkyrie asked, the grogginess thick in her voice 

“China and Skulduggery both got attacked by Assassins”

”Are they hurt??!”

”Don’t worry Skulduggery is fine and the supreme mage will be right as rain in a few days,Reverie Synecdoche is with her now”

”How bad are her injuries”

”She’ll be fine Val”

”Militsa”,Valkyrie persisted,”Her injuries looked pretty bad in my vision,she was sprinting in stilettos for gods sake, who can do the without breaking an ankle, like I grant you it is China Sorrows we’re taking about and if anyone could do it, she could”

”She has a stab wound in her back, it’s going to need stitches as well as whatever magic the doctor can use on it, she has third degree burns on her right shoulder and a very badly bruised ankle, now does that answer your question?”Militsa replied helping Valkyrie to her feet.

”Yeah it does”,she said cracking a smile”Do you have my leaves”

”Sorry, but Fletcher grabbed me and I didn’t get a chance”

”No worries, maybe Synecdoche will give me some”

”Okay, did you happen to glance the supreme mage’s attacker in your vision?”Militsa asked, hope filling her voice 

“No......but, I did see some pretty strange things....”

”Such as”Fletcher Renn asked sauntering into the room

”Your hair”Valkyrie replied a smirk growing on her face

”Thanks”,Fletcher replied, shooting Militsa a glare as she lay laughing on the ground 

“No worries”Valkyrie replied grinning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any plot ideas and reviews welcomed


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,not sure where I’m going with this but any requests or reviews will definitely be taken into consideration   
> Anyone else really want to get their hands on seasons of war??

Her phone started buzzing in her hand and she quickly accepted the call and pressed it to her ear.

”Hello?”

“Where are you?”   
  
“At Ghastly’s, why?”she asked panic rising in her chest

”Everyone is fine, well, everyone you care about anyway”

”Why do I have to be China’s bodyguard,why can’t Val do it!”Tanith moaned

”Fletcher’s coming to get you now”

“Why can’t Val do it”

And that’s when she heard the familiar beeping sound

”He hung up on me”she said out loud, sounding indignant 

“That sucks, that does”,said a voice from behind her

”Hey,Fletch”

“You ready to go”

“Yeah, what’s up anyway?”

“Skulduggery will tell you what’s up,I’m not that sure to be honest”

“And what is up?”

“I told you I don’t know, We’re going now”  
“Ok, so you where being serious”

* * *

”Ahhhhhhhhh”Tanith shrieked as she tripped over Militsa and Valkyrie lying on the floor in Skulduggery’s living room 

“Why are you both on the floor”

”Hi to you to Tanith”

”Hi”Tanith grumbled

”Hi,I’m on the floor because Val here decided nearly fainting was a good idea”

”Was it another vision”Tanith asked perking up

”Yeah, and not a particularly nice one”

”What happened”

”That’s exactly what Fletcher and I were asking her when Skulduggery asked him to get you”

”I can’t tell you”

“Why”they all cried together 

“Because,”she replied with a cheeky grin spreading over her features,”You’re all in it”

”Tell me”cried Tanith

”No”

”Awwww, why not”

”Because, your part of the vision was the most insane part, trust me,you don’t want me to ruin it for you”

”Fine”Tanith said grumpily


	11. Chapter 11

“Her!”they heard China Sorrows screech”Why her, I could hire a bodyguard”

They could hear Reverie.Synecdoche fussing over China and telling Skulduggery to stop harassing her.”She’s in a fragile state”,is what they heard her say.

”So who’s on bodyguard duty?”Valkyrie asked

”Me”Tanith spat in disgust

”So Tanith”,asked Militsa steering clear of the subject of bodyguard duty“,what were you up to before Fletcher went to get you”asked Melissa curiously 

“Just over at Ghastly’s old place, y’know watering the plants, the usual stuff”Tanith replied praying they didn’t hear the catch in her voice as she skimmed over his name,”I found a box with my name on it”,she said remembering the messy familiar scrawl on the black box that she had found in Ghastly’s kitchen.

“What was in it”Valkyrie asked eagerly

”I haven’t checked yet”Tanith replied searching the floor for the box

”Your telling me, that you found a mysterious box with your name on it and you didn’t look inside”said Fletcher looking shocked

”Yeah”said Tanith slowly,”That’s when Skulduggery called me, and then you appeared”

”Oh,right”

”Are you gonna open it or not”Militsa asked

”Help me find it first”Tanith said, sticking her head under a sofa.


	12. Chapter 12

“So Tanith is going to be your bodyguard”,Skulduggery Pleasant was saying to China, and those where the first words that registered in her brain, she knew he’d been talking the entire time but she’d just been watching him pace around the room.Then his words registered in her mind and she heard herself screech, what was going on, she , China Sorrows did not screech, she, China Sorrows was dignified.What was next mumbling.She distantly recalled Synecdoche telling Skulduggery off as China drifted back into a state of unconsciousness.


	13. Chapter 13

He’d finished telling her that Tanith was going to be her bodyguard when she screeched.He had asked her what was wrong but by the time he had asked she was drifting off again and Synecdoche had come to scold him for annoying her patients.He’d said that in his defence she was the one who had went and nearly got herself assassinated, but the doctor had given him such a fierce glare that had shut him up.He heard China groan as he considered leaving but decided against it.If she woke up alone she’d be confused and weak and possibly in a critical condition.That just wouldn’t do.

He walked over to her still body and glimpsed her eyelashes flutter and her eyes snap open looking directly at.The silence was broken by her moaning that her back hurt, Skulduggery tilted his head to the side at what would’ve been a raised eyebrow if he had a face.I’d assume so, he said, after being stabbed and bleeding non stop through an giant hole in your back it would be remarkably painful, it’s a wonder you have the strength to remain conscious, he told her.I am a wonder, she responded with the flicker of a smirk on her face before she regained her composure,I’m also remarkable she said before closing her eyes and sighing. Skulduggery tilted his head to what would have been a worried expression if he’d had a face Is there something wrong he asked

”No......I’m just.....thinking...”

”About?” Skulduggery prompted

”Stuff” China said distantly 

“I will find out y’know”

”I’m just thinking”she said as she sank further into her pillow and drifted off again

He chuckled and left to go convince Tanith to do bodyguard duty


	14. Chapter 14

“I FOUND IT!!!!”Tanith shrieked holding up the box in victory 

“Open it already”cried Valkyrie crawling towards her

“I will,I will” cried Tanith ripping the lid off

”Well?”prompted Militsa nudging Tanith with her elbow,”What is it?”

”It’s......It’s...It’s a....a...It’s a dress”,Said Tanith in reply gently pulling the dress out of the box by the neck

”A dress”,Fletcher said confusion sweeping across her features,”But...but..who would leave you a dress, you hate dresses”

It was a black dress, with an ombré on the upper lair of chiffon ending in a light blue but passing through purple, navy and teal . It was nearly a strapless dress, except for a thin black strap to go around her neck. It had a low back with black straps crisscrossing across the back. The bodice was tight, but the skirt was flowy and light. But despite all that, her favourite bits by far where the trousers that where attached to the bodice and the fact that skirt could clip off. It also registered with her when she was studying the material that the inside was made from Ghastly’s reinforced clothing like the ones he made for Valkyrie.

”It has trousers in it”,they heard Fletcher say looking even more confused than before,”Do all dresses have trousers in them?”

”No”replied Valkyrie,”only Tanith would want a dress with trousers and a detachable skirt”

”What’s the inside material?”Militsa asked,”I know I’ve felt it before, but I can’t figure it out”

”You’ve probably felt it on Val’s jacket, it’s the protective material Ghastly used to use”said Tanith 

“Is there a card”Valkyrie asked curiosity filling her voice

”Not that I can see”,said Tanith,”Ok, I’m going to the loo, be back in a minute”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loo is an Irish word for toilet 🚽


	15. Chapter 15

“Tanith”they heard Skulduggery say as he walked into the living room,”I don’t care if you want to be China’s bodyguard or not, your doing it and that’s that”when he heard no reply he said,”Where’s Tanith, did she leave?”

”She’s in the loo”Militsa and Fletcher said simultaneously, while Valkyrie searched the dress for a clue of who sent it.

”Well, when she comes back tell her she has no choice”he said already turning to leave


	16. Chapter 16

Tanith locked the door of the bathroom, trying to calm her nerves.

_That messy scrawl was Ghastly’s she just knew it, how had she missed it, how long had that box been sitting there, since before the remnant?before he died?before that traitor Ravel had stabbed him in the back, both physically and mentally._

She took the card out of her pocket and started reading

**Dear Tanith**

**Meet me at this location wearing the dress at 8:30. Be ready for some delicious steak .Cant wait to see you wearing your new dress.I hope you liked it.**

**Yours sincerely...**

She checked the back of the card for a name but there wasn’t one

_On one hand it could be a trap but on the other, it could be him, but she knew, deep down she knew, it wasn’t him, he was dead, but, was he? Stranger things had happened, Val’s reflection for instance or the fact that Val was Darquesse or at least had been or the strangest thing of all, Fletcher becoming a teacher, Fletcher for gods sake, Fletcher Renn teaching, now that was insane._

_She heard someone knocking on the door and Valkyrie saying “Tanith are you okay? You’ve been in there for 15 minutes now”_

_”I’m fine”,she called back_


	17. Chapter 17

China’s back hurt like hell.But she needed to find out who had attacked her, so she dredged up the strength to lift her head, open her eyes and start to sit up, but then she felt a hand pushing her back down and heard someone say “You’re to weak to sit up” and then she felt the familiar weight to her side of someone sitting on the bed beside her. She felt a damp cloth on her forehead and heard the voice say “If you sit up the blood will clot and Synecdoche will come tell me off again for disturbing you”. She laughed, but it came out as a moan.”Is it your back again”she heard him ask concern apparent in his voice.”I was trying to laugh”, she mumbled back drowsily.She heard him chuckle and say”How are you feeling anyway?”.“Honestly, I feel drunk”, she replied. “I’m not surprised.You did get stabbed after all”she heard him say.


	18. Chapter 18

“Tanith”,Fletcher said as Tanith came into view,“Skulduggery says you have to be on bodyguard duty and you have no choice”. Tanith cursed. “What’s so bad about being China’s bodyguard?”,Militsa asked curiously. “Tanith hates China”,Valkyrie said,”Lets just say, they haven’t seen eye to eye in the past”. “Eye to eye! She’s evil”, Tanith scowled in return. “Okay then”Fletcher said looking awkwardly around for anything else to talk about. “Tell Skulduggery I can’t do anytime after 8 o’clock”. “Why”,asked Valkyrie and Tanith could already see the cogs turning in her head. “No”, Tanith said to her I know what you’re thinking Val and no, it’s not what you think”. “What do I think?” Asked Valkyrie a smirk playing across her features. Feature if Tanith was being honest would love to punch right now. “I’m going to go tell Skulduggery because none of you seem to want me here”, Tanith said and sweeper up the dress with a flourish and walked out.

* * *

”Who else thinks she’s got a date?!”Valkyrie asked excited at the prospect of her friends love life getting back on track.

”You think”, asked Fletcher looking disappointed 

“What’s up Fletch?”, Militsa asked

”Oh it’s nothing”, he said eyeing Valkyrie warily as if he knew she would laugh at whatever he was about to say,”It’s just, I was gonna ask Tanith to go out with me”

And then Valkyrie burst out laughing and Militsa couldn’t help the grin spreading across her face.


	19. Chapter 19

And Fletchers face went red


	20. Chapter 20

And then Valkyrie got a pillow to the face


	21. Chapter 21

And then Militsa got a pillow to the face


	22. Chapter 22

And then Fletcher got a pillow to the face


	23. Chapter 23

And then a pillow war broke out 


	24. Chapter 24

He saw Tanith approaching to late to hide. She had that look on her face even Skulduggery as stubborn as he was didn’t want to anger her when she had that expression. So he stood up and walked towards her bracing himself for her to blow off some steam. She stopped and he followed suite. He was shocked when she said,”I’ll do it ,but I’m taking from 6pm to dawn off, those are my terms take’em or leave’em”. “Perfect”,he responded,”But, how do I get Valkyrie to do bodyguard duty at that time?”. “You won’t”,Tanith replied,“She’s going out with Mil”. “Do I have to do it?” He asked not liking being his own pawn. “Have fun, while you can”,Tanith said smirking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry I haven’t posted in a while but comments and kudos would really be appreciated I just want to make sure people are actually enjoying this  
> Ps: I’m currently writing a Percy Jackson fic it’ll be up soon  
> Xx


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